As I was borne (possum fur cushion on the back seat) back to Wellington after my usual weekend in the country I had a revelation which I really must share.
Amidst regular radio updates on the Rugby World Cup the airwaves were filled with impassioned fans talking about every other sport imaginable. Netball, basketball, soccer, tennis, golf, fishing, billiards, polo, horse racing, dog racing, rugby league, hockey, softball, baseball, ice-hockey, figure skating, bowls, skiing, snowboarding, hotdogging……etc…etc. Their enthusiasm and ardour were spine tingling.
I thought – the Prime Minister should know of this. Because if NZders turned their energy and passion for all sports into something productive like the country’s GDP this little nation would be unstoppable.
All sport should be banned and replaced by something worthy of effort. Something that earns money rather than spending it.
Sadly I don’t think my idea will catch on. So I may as well go and chase my ping pong ball.
What a weekend.
Some of my readers may remember that last winter I blogged about my guest appearance in the movie ‘Alexander’. Those who missed it and live in NZ have a chance to see it on TV (TV3 I think) again tonight. I heartily recommend the scene in the harem – the rest is rubbish.
I find my starring roles especially pleasing and ego inflating as this weekend has produced what I think is called a ‘double header’ in that I also featured in James Bond’s Thunderball last night – you know, the scene where Number One, the Boss of Spectre sits behind a slatted screen fondling a white Persian cat.
Twice in one weekend. I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star. What bliss.
Further bliss – it’s lunchtime. But wait a moment. What does the slave think she’s doing. By the Great Cat and The Belly of Beelzebub, doesn’t she know that celebrities like me deserve something better than quiche?
Thank you Wabbit for this stunning photo of my lookalike. At first I mentally dressed him in a swashbuckler’s outfit (boots, pantaloons, jacket, bandolier, sword, hat with feather) and thought he looked handsome beyond belief. Indeed positively swoonworthy.
However, the more I looked at him the more I wondered whether David McNie’s photo signifies something else……Does the upright posture and penetrating gaze tell us that FCC (Feline Command Central) are up to something. Something of importance. Something that, rather to my surprise, the Megapusses there have not yet shared with me.
Are cats, especially Persian ones, beginning to stand on two feet so they can gradually become more like Homo Stupidus? Is there a plan to assert cat rights and demand more consideration? More pampering, more food, more space, more……..now what’s the word I’m searching for….?
Whilst all in favour of this list I think that any plan to become more like humans shows a gross lack of judgement.
Just think about it for a moment. As well as their upright stance we might develop their brains and I don’t know what you think but I believe that one foolish species on this planet is quite enough. In addition, pampering might cease……
At last a topic closer to my heart.
A woman in Scotland drove 17 miles wondering what caused a smell of burning in her car. When she turned off the engine she heard a plaintive ‘Miaow’ and discovered that her pet cat Kenzie was beneath the bonnet.
Apart from a slightly singed rear end, Kenzie lives and can look forward to her/his next eight lives.
Read about Kenzie and other cat survivors at ttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-14931792. Those Brits really know how to treat a cat.
I’ve never hidden under a car’s bonnet (I have brains) but I did once take an unscheduled trip to the municipal rubbish dump when I fell asleep inside a cardboard box on the slave’s trailer. (I’d been hiding there so I could catch marauding mice but they were busy elsewhere so I nodded off and only woke when we arrived at the big concrete rubbish chute. Fortunately I was able to leap out of the box before it was thrown away. The he slave was suitably apologetic and held open the car door for me so I could travel home in ease and comfort while the she slave became hysterical which gave me great satisfaction.
That’s the question that’s exercising the minds of Happy Feet(aka Pampered Paws) followers everywhere.
As the world knows, the rescued Emperor penguin has disappeared in the Great Southern Ocean within a week of his release off a New Zealand Antarctic research vessel.
The optimistic say his tracking device fell off his tail feathers and that he’s still on his way to find love in a penguin breeding colony on an island somewhere but personally I think he was eaten by one of Free Willy’s rellies. He was too far south to fall victim of a hungry shark hunting for dinner (they prefer human flesh in warmer waters) and too far north to be in leopard seal territory. So. It had to be an orca. There, crime solved.
Of course I do have two alternative explanations.
Perhaps he was so obese after a hefty diet of salmon at Wellington Zoo that the stress of endless swimming caused a heart attack and he sank to the bottom. RIP little Pampered Paws. And we all know who we can blame for that scenario.
Or maybe he suffered suicidal penguin feelings brought on by the excessive attention of all the humans who swooned over him when he was rescued. He probably thought he had found friends for life and was devastated when his own personal veterinarian gave him a shove (we all saw it on TV) to send him over the side of the boat. The boat sailed away and he was left, lonely, friendless and forlorn. It’s easy to see how he could have concluded that life isn’t worth living……. RIP little Pampered Paws. We know who is responsible for that too.
All that pampering and fuss for a creature that’s not even particularly cuddly. It’s time humans made more effort over cats. Especially Persians.
Oh what fun….the SS went out shopping so I had a free run at the laptop and found a few new buttons. I’m enjoying checking out different themes and rather like this one. (“Dark, urban, grunge”) Next week I can be “frivolous, naive and fresh”……..and then I can keep changing themes until I get bored.
I see it’s (the theme that is) called Neo Sapiens. Sapiens…..sapiens…that’s enough to make any self respecting cat feel nauseous so I might be moving on quickly. Purrs til then.
I know I first posted this on Webs.com but it is so good that I think it deserves yearly exposure:
Obviously written by someone who understands cats.