Slaves About to be AWOL again……

Anyone would think the Fusspot didn’t love me.    As soon as she arrived back from Oz, and just as I thought I was getting the Chair Stealer/Duvet Denier to see things my way, she’s packing to go back  again.

This time CS/DD is going too, so it’s Pampered Pets Inc for moi.

This Australian thing is puzzling .   I know that the Norwegians send their old age pensioners on all expenses paid winter holidays in the sun but the New Zealand government is far too cash strapped to be that generous.   Judging by the number of self funded trips to Oz that my slaves take they must really want to be there.

Oh, I’ve just thought of an answer.    Could they be house-hunting?      One thing I do know.  If they go for good, then I’m going with them.     Hmmm…I wonder if Australia has lots of salmon and oysters….

Pompuss Needs Katie’s Help Please…….

Just when I thought I had the Bad Slave under control  ( purring up against him on cold nights without his kicking me off the bed ) he left this photo ( ex Theo Spark) for me to see on the computer.

I  hope he wanted to show the world that I am a good swimmer.

But……I .followed your advice Katie (i.e. claws in crotch) and I fear the photo may contain a very different message………perhaps he intends to drown me  like the barn rats…..

More advice please…..

Pompuss Organises the Weather Gods ………

Just when I asked for a really cold southerly storm the weather obliged and sent parts of New Zealand  into minus degrees for a few nights.

I had been inching across the bed towards the Chair Stealer/ Duvet Denier and eventually he gave in and didn’t protest when I curled up and purred  in the crook of his legs.    Much more comfortable (and warmer) than sleeping with Teddy in my basket.

The Fusspot returns this week so life will revert to normal.     i wonder how  the CS/DD will react when I settle myself on her side of the bed.

Pompuss’ Charm Offensive Has Begun………

I think it might be working……Each night I slink into the bedroom and purr my hardest…     On the first night I slept on a chair but every night since I’ve jumped on to the bed (at the far side well away from the Chair Stealer/Duvet Denier)  and kept my distance whilst purring loudly.      My plan is to edge closer each night….so far he hasn’t noticed what I’m doing but as the nights are getting colder he’ll soon be glad to have me snuggled against him.

What I need is a southerly storm to speed things up……..

A Lion in the Garden……..

The residents of Nairobi are becoming upset over marauding lionnesses who are invading their gardens and savaging their pet dogs underneath  the rose bushes.   So far a rottweiller has been killed, a spaniel is missing and a ridgeback and bull terrier have been mauled but lived to show their scars.      I’m not too concerned about these canine casualties but it worries me that a hungry lion might mistake a feline domestic god or goddess for an amuse-guele or appetiser.

Rangers from the game park which borders Nairobi have set traps  without success and even conservationists are now saying that shooting the lions may be the only solution.    I hope it doesn’t come to that.

The Chair Stealer/ Duvet Denier has just come in the front door so I’m off to launch my charm offensive.     Will keep you posted……

Pompuss’ Survival Strategy…….

I’ve decided that to survive the next two weeks I need a plan.     A little like a Civil Defence Emergency Plan but one designed expressly for my needs.   At first I thought of:

THAW..…Turn Him And Win…. but that seemed a little too simple so I designed;

AESOP…..All Efforts Support Old Pompuss…..but even I can see that sounds selfish so I considered;

CATNIP...Cast Away Troubles – Never Interrupt Purring….but perhaps that’s too frivolous.

So in the end I’ve chosen a 5 point plan which has a proper balance of effort and survival and should be acceptable to the whole household.    It’s:

SHAPE.….Seduce Him And Pompuss Endures………..The five steps are:

1) S...Seek out his cold extremities and cuddle them;

2) H...Have a positive attitude all the time even when the going gets rough;

3) A...Always think of him first;

4) P...Purr all the time;

5) E…Every day bring him a dead rat.

I think I can put aside my essential catness for a fortnight by pretending that I am not totally self absorbed, hard-hearted and cynical.   That way the Chair Stealer/Duvet Denier and I might be able to last the distance until She (the ever blest Fusspot) returns.

Do you think I’ll manage it?

Woe Is Pompuss……..

My pet slave is off to Oz for a fortnight with the grandkits so I’m to be left to the untender mercies of the other one.    That’s right, the Chair Stealer and Duvet Denier.

I can see that I am in for a grim two weeks.    Chances are he’ll forget to feed me.    And since he wants peace and quiet while he writes a paper for a conference he’ll probably thrust me into my travel basket and head upcountry to the farmlet which means that I’ll be denied the solace of a good sulk in the hot water cupboard.

I enjoy the farm in summer but am less enthusiastic about it in the autumn and winter when it’s all rain, mud, drooping greenery and grizzling heifers.  However I can see that there’s no use complaining about it, I’ll just have to resign myself to discomfort in the country and try to have some fun hunting vermin.

Perhaps if I give him a dead rat or two he’ll let me be the one who sits closest to the fire in the evening.